A Retelling of Life

Archive for April, 2013

Ramblings Of a Restless Mom

My baby is now about 22 weeks old.  He is a sweet little thing…He has preferences now.  His favorite toy is Tiger, an orange (yes, you guessed it!) tiger.. with a rattle on his right hand and a ball on his left.  Tiger never fails to get him to blabber.  I imagine Ethan confiding in Tiger and telling him how his day went.  He loves to play with fingers.  He spends minutes observing my fingers when I offer them to him to play with.  He loves to jump on my lap and I am most happy when my silly antics are rewarded by a smile or a giggle from him.

I wish I could spend my entire with him but I have a career and for mothers like me, it isn’t as easy.  Still, I am luckier than most.  I am blessed with the gift of sleep.  I can sleep immediately, anywhere and anytime.  So I co-sleep with my baby and wake up when he wakes.  It’s no big deal for me as like him, I fall asleep the moment my head rests on the bed.  I like to gaze at him when I sleep.  I am filled with wonder at this little angel that lived in my tummy for nine months and is now a breathing, living being beside me.

I thank the Lord for making me a mom.  Life has changed for hubby and me.  We haven’t travelled in a long time, the last one being when we visited Prambanan and Borobudur when I was about two months pregnant but there is nothing like this adventure with Ethan.  I look forward to the day when we can take him on one of our backpacking trips. =) Already, we are training him to get used to all kinds of environment, to sleep wherever he may be and in whatever position.  😉

Indeed, my heard is full.  And yet my heart is not at peace.  Someone close to me is going through something and we have to be strong for her.  I am thankful that it’s early yet and that the Lord is taking care of her.  I pray for her healing and I pray for our family that we may help each other and be there for each other and for her especially.  “Life, oh life, oh life..” I know though that everything happens for a reason.  I know that the Lord sees us and knows what is in our hearts.  The beauty of life lies in its imperfections, in the unexpected changes, in the trials that come our way.  I thank you Lord for your blessings. God bless us all always.

Family, Changes, Miracles and Everything in Between

My little boy will be turning 5 months old next week.  He can now stick his tongue out at will.  He makes emphatic noises when he feels hot or wants a change in position.  He’s a little human being, with likes and dislikes.  I love how his eyes seem to reflect his mischievousness when he smiles.  I love everything about him from the tips of his toes to the hair on his head.  Everyday, I make a quick glance above to say: “thank you Lord.”

Everyday too since our family found out some alarming news, I bring Ethan’s hand together and with him pray: “Lord, please bless my lola. Heal her.  Let everything be fine with her Lord.”  The tears that threaten to pour out are kept within the rim of my eyes.  I refuse to even consider it. Until we’re certain, we’re keeping our trust in our friend up there.  I know the Lord is taking care of mommy and that she’ll be fine.

My mother-in-law shared this prayer with me to give to my mom.  It goes like this:

“Why do you get confused and hectic by the problems of life?  Leave all your things in my care and everything will go better.  When you let yourself go to me all will be solved peacefully as per my plans.  Do not despair; do not make me a desperate prayer as if you want to order me to fulfill you wishes.  Close the eyes of your soul and tell me peacefully JESUS I PUT MY TRUST IN YOU.

Avoid the worries and anguish and the thoughts of what might happen later.  Do not spoil my plans waiting to impose your ideas on me.  Let me be God and let me act with liberty.  Rest in my and leave your future in my hands.  Tell me frequently JESUS I PUT MY TRUST IN YOU.  What hurt me most are your reasoning and your own ideas and wanting to solve things your way.  When you tell me: JESUS I PUT MY TRUST IN YOU, do not be like the patient who asks the doctor to cure him, but he suggests the way to do it.  Let me take you in my divine arms; do not be afraid, I LOVE YOU.

If you believe that things get worse or get complicated in spite of your prayer, keep on trusting.  Close the eyes of your soul and trust.  Continue telling me at all times: JESUS I PUT MY TRUST IN YOU.  I need free hands to act.  Do not tie me up with your useless worries.  That is what Satan wants, to anguish you, to take the Peace away from you.  Trust only in ME, let yourself go to me.  So do not worry.  Give ME all your worries and sleep peacefully.  Always tell me.  JESUS I PUT MY TRUST IN YOU and you will see big miracles.  I promise you by my love.”

Thank you Lord for a beautiful and rich life. Amen.